When Will Women in Country Music Get to be Mediocre?
Lainey Wilson works her ass off. This ability to keep going, at first against all odds and now to keep up with the ravenous demands of her career, is the centerpiece of a new documentary about her life, Keepin’ Country Cool, which debuted last month on Netflix. Working hard is one of the defining things about Wilson: she worked so hard and said so few “no’s” as her career started to skyrocket that she ended up in three-day panic attack. She struggled; she sought counseling. In 2024, during an interview with Rolling Stone, Kaitlin Butts even broke down in tears for just how much Wilson was doing to stay in the game. “She’s just an incredible singer and writer,” Butts told me. “It’s just hard to see how much harder she has had to work.”
Harder, obviously, than her male peers. Success, for women in country music, comes with a heavy side of sacrifice and total exhaustion: last summer, it drove Ella Langley to cancel a few tour dates to tend to her mental health. So while it’s true that (white) women are facing a watershed moment in country music right now – “Choosin’ Texas” is still dominating on the Billboard charts, and Langley won every award she was up for at the ACMs – it’s also well documented that even to get into contention, women have to work themselves to the brink of collapse and beyond to even reach the vague idea of an equal playing field. Meanwhile, more men than I can mention here are content to phone in it (and why should they do more? That’s all they need to do in order to get radio play). Gavin Adcock can’t even be bothered to empty his pockets before he goes on stage.
“I hate that we have to work twice as hard for twice as long for half the credit,” Ashley McBryde said recently on a podcast appearance (her new album, by the way, is truly excellent). So many women watching that clip – and probably reading this newsletter – are nodding along because, yes, all of this is old news. We know women in country music (or in...anything) have to be extraordinary to succeed, to say yes to any man that asks, to never turn down an opportunity even if it means sacrificing sleep, health and your mental state. But what I want to know is, what are we going to do about it? Is the industry itself willing to reckon with the inequitable amount of work and sacrifice it took to get here, so complete collapse doesn’t come part and parcel with success?
Wilson and Langley, at least, are talking about it - showing leadership by being so open about how much these insane demands have impacted them, rather than just nodding along in silence. I'm grateful for it. Women like Kelsea Ballerini, Carly Pearce and Margo Price put the sacrifices into song. Keepin’ Country Cool is as much about Wilson’s success as it is all she’s had to give up along the way - both a triumph but also a cautionary tale that should wake the industry up, not have them praise the hustle. Because for every Wilson that is able to muscle through with a support system and therapy, there are dozens who aren’t (or who don't have the insurance or financial comfort to be able to afford it).
So yes, the headline to this post is a joke - no one wants mediocrity. The solution is not half-assing creative life, but leveling the playing field. But wouldn't it be nice if women could just phone it in, just once in a while?
